The biggest mistake when business networking is to look for customers. No one knows you, no one trusts you and no one likes to be sold. So, what should you do, ask for referrals? Nope. That’s the second biggest mistake. Why should I give you anything if we’re not friends?

Am I saying you should business network to make friends?

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Many salespeople are blabber-mouths. They tell you everything they know about their products, as if they can talk you into buying right there at a networking meeting. Maybe it’s to be expected. In America, we swim through an ocean of obnoxious sales messages all day long. Perhaps, when we sell for the first time, we can’t help but sound like all the bad commercials we’ve absorbed throughout our lives.

Test this at your next networking meeting. See if people tell you everything they know about their product when you ask them a simple question. More importantly, see if you do it, and watch how people respond when they are talked at.

We are savvier than ever before and less tolerant of sales pitches. We can smell them a mile away. We run, we hide, we TIVO, we channel surf – we do whatever it takes to avoid all kinds of marketing. We have to. We are bombarded and we want peace.

I just had a woman come to my door, no joke, at 7:45 p.m., while I was writing this paragraph, to interest me in a free pizza from a new pizza place nearby. 7:45 p.m.! I told her, kindly, I am not interested in any marketing or advertising messages at my front door, thank you very much.

Want to push people away? Talk at them about your product before they ask you anything about it. Want to make friends? Here’s how.

Love people. That’s right. Just love them. Love who they are. Love what they say. Give them 100 percent permission to do and say whatever they’d like. Just take them in. If 90 percent of success is to just show up, the other 10 percent is caring.

Your feelings about people can be felt. You hide nothing. That’s why the best thing to give when you network is a real liking, a real love, a real appreciation of people. When people talk, listen. When they ask you a question, watch out. Right there you might be tempted to say a lot. Don’t. Instead, give simple answers to simple questions and see if the person wants to know more. If they don’t, ask them a question about themselves.